Tensions running high.

Tensions are starting to run high in the house. Currently all of us have a shorter fuse than normal and have snapped at each other at some point this week. I think that it is finally starting to occur to us that we are leaving behind life as we know it. 

Q, who is normally not super conscientious about his school work, started to express concern about falling behind in Algebra while we are on the trip. He's also binging on xBox like it is his last meal. Amelia is upset with me for the fact that she will be missing the 5th grade picture, which hangs in the halls for decades to come. She keeps asking me to postpone the trip until summer so that she doesn't have to miss school. Jeff has been working like a mad man to tie up loose ends at his job. 

This morning I was particularly impatient with Amelia and as I was about to come down on her for her "tone" with me, Jeff reminded me: You are about to rock her world. 

Needless to say, I am asking a lot of my husband and kids right now. I even went so far as to schedule all of our travel vaccines on Valentines day - who inoculates their kids for Typhoid on Valentines? Really.

I feel an enormous pressure building on top of me. Whether it is the people that I love that need me here now or the fact that I am putting my job search on hold, I am not sure. Regardless, I hope that I am doing the right thing for my family. 

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Digital detox.

It is no secret. Devices, phones in particular, are taking more away from our lives than they potentially add in value and convenience. My daughter, Amelia, received her first phone for Christmas this year. Our family rule was to wait until middle school but we caved. I regret it. Since she has received her phone, she has been different. Everything about her from her communication style to her mood to the look in her eyes has changed. Q, my son, has had a phone for over 2 years now. I've watched his communication skills decline ever since. At one point, I just assumed that he was entering the stereotypical teenage years; however, when we grounded him and took screens away for a couple of weeks, my engaging, jovial son returned within 24 hours. 

I'm no saint either. I am fully addicted. I normally try to take Sundays off and even try to put the screens away on our annual family trip to Telluride. However, in the last couple of years, it has been tougher to let go. I have even found that I sometimes feel ill (in the same way you do after you have indulged in too much sugar) after an extended mind-numbing Instagram session, scrolling down the e-rabbithole. I have even noticed that I have trouble concentrating for long periods of time. And, if I am being really honest, I haven't completed a book that I have started in years. I get bored about half way through and start another one.

And I am not alone. This is an epidemic, people. One that I hope to take on, on a grander scale. I am just not sure how yet.

So I have struggled with the best way to document and share our adventure. Part of me has wanted to shut everything out and just go, but that is a story for another post. 

In a more balanced approach, we are setting expectations with the kids that the phones will be gone for 5 weeks. We are stealing the phrase from my son's summer camp, "Disconnect to reconnect." We will also be off of email, the web and will not be consuming in social. The only screen will be our nightly blog post - the kids will journal by hand and Jeff and I will take turns uploading to this site. Photos will be taken by actual cameras! The only screen we will allow ourselves are movies on the long flights and I am even contemplating limiting that.

So basically we are about to be off of the grid in a big way. This website will simply serve as a way to document our journey while letting our loved ones know that we are still alive. 

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Humble brag.

It is hard to explain what this group has meant to me and my family. Each person has taught me something and continues to. They are all unique individuals with different perspectives and context; however, somehow we work as a unit. Most of us interact daily. Who would have thought that grown adults would act like teenage girls on WhatsApp? Some have opened their homes to me and my family, one has pulled me out of roaring rapids and all have opened their hearts. In the days that followed my decision to leave my job, the women wrapped their arms around me. One gave me and my kids shelter by the beach while she and her husband coached me. When Jeff was scared about the notion of this trip, another made an appearance at our home at the most perfect moment, offering excitement and inspiration for our adventure. Most of all, this group has held me accountable to making the most of this life. I'm forever grateful to these role models and I hope that I live up to the honor of making their team. I dedicate this trip to them and my AGLN fellows for giving me the courage to do it. But for the fellowship...

Note: while not all are pictured below, this photo embodies the spirit of our connection. #SOA #HCFXX #MFLDT 

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